Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
