i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
