but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
