and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
