im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
