Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
