this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
