so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
