I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We are all done wearing pants today
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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