I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
