Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
