erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
