508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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