Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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