My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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