his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
