I must be too annoying 4 u.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
