she woke up with a sticky ear
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
