HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
