HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
