he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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