I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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