i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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