Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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