i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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