at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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