If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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