Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
