Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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