THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
