she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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