She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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