wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
