She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
