so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
