Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
