I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
