So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry about my life...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
