There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
