elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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