I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Gay?
German.
Pity.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
