the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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