I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Randomize
