Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
