24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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