ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
