this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
