I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
