And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
