Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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