dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
