And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
