come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
